Eye Witness News: Cara Ellison To Celebrate Birthday With Cruise, Party In Greek Isles

Despite her company’s recent hardships, Eye Witness News has learned that Cara Ellison is planning a lavish cruise and party in the Greek Isles to celebrate her 27th birthday. But not everyone is in the mood to celebrate. “Cara Ellison is a heartless bitch,” says Tina Horowitz who lost her job as a business analyst at Ellison Lunar Exploration in March when the company mandated 2% layoffs. “I can’t believe that while I am struggling to find work in this economy she would have the nerve to spend millions on a stupid party.”

Others don’t have a problem with the troubled energy magnate enjoying herself. “The indictment has caused a lot of upheaval in her life, even if she doesn’t show it much,” says an unnamed source who is close to Ms. Ellison. “I think she wants to forget about her problems for the short term.”

Ellison’s problems began earlier this year when a federal grand jury indicted her on 753 counts of securities fraud, insider trading, and various other offenses. The indictment was followed by the dismissal of many of the company’s executives, including Owen Kind, the CFO who had been with the company since the company was created in 2001. Sources have revealed to Eye Witness News that Owen Kind was one of Ellison’s personal friends, a member of the old guard. His dismissal caused consternation on Wall Street, and the stock dropped nearly 15% on the day it was announced. The stock has not gained in the intervening weeks. In the meantime, the company laid off 2% of the staff in subsidiaries Ellison Lunar Exploration, Cara Ellison Space and Cara Ellison Earthworks. The lay-offs were especially bitter for employees because of perceived greed on the part of executives. Ms. Ellison disclosed that her personal bonus for the year was $2 billion and others, including Owen Kind, took bonuses worth up to $500 million.

Last week, lobbyists associated with Cara Ellison Corp were seen at the White House, fueling speculation that Ellison was asking for a bailout. However, that did not come to fruition. Ms. Ellison announced that her company would not accept TARP funds.

When Eye Witness News caught up with Miss Ellison in the parking garage at her office, she said that her company is in strong shape. “Cara Ellison Corp. is one of the few companies that are actually doing well right now.”

Tina Horowitz scoffs. “If it’s doing so well, why did I get laid off? A freaking cruise? She’s a bitch.”

When asked for a comment about Ellison’s upcoming birthday party, company spokesman Perry Kanaly said that he does not comment on the private lives of employees. He did, however, confirm that Ms. Ellison’s birthday is June 15 and when we attempted to arrange an interview with her, we were told that Ms. Ellison will be traveling on that day and her calendar is full.

Because It's Sunday

Ferris Bueller House For Sale

Remember Cameron Frye’s awesome house? Remember that amazing garage where Cameron’s dad kept the Ferrari? Well it can be yours! (Or mine, if you want to buy it for me! Yes, I would like to own the home of the best friend of the The Sausage King of Chicago. So sue me.)

It truly is a gorgeous piece of property. Check the link for deets.

Made In Ireland

I realize I am easily amused. But today I noticed that on the bottom of my dental floss is the message: MADE IN IRELAND. I’ve literally never seen that anywhere. China, sure. Zimbabwe, once in a while. USA, occasionally. Ireland, wtf?

The Reader

I read The Reader in 1999; it was an Oprah book so it was everywhere that year. One could not appear in public with the book without being pelted with questions, “Isn’t it divine? Isn’t it amazing? A wonderful book…”

The book left me cold. I remember very little from it – only that Hannah was a Nazi prison guard and she had an affair with a young boy. Then she’s tried for war crimes and is found not guilty because she could not read. I think there was a piece of evidence, like an order she supposedly wrote, that proved conclusively she could not have done what they accused her of because she was illiterate.

I chose to see the movie version because Kate Winslet is in it. My instinct was correct. She is an amazing actress. Sometimes she appears to completely German, so of that era, that I blink my eyes and wonder if there is some sort of special effect, some trick of lighting or makeup to make her appear so vivid. There isn’t.

Her uncombed hair, rapidly tied back in a knot, her svelt body, the strange cant of her eyes and grim mouth are all effects, but the acting comes from inside her. She meets a young boy, Michael; she helps him home one afternoon. He returns to her home and she asks him to do some housework for her. He gets filthy so she tells him to take a bath. Such a strange juxtaposition of her strict, efficient, joyless exterior, and the obvious sensuality in her face. Before he gets into the bathtub, she stands behind him, not touching him, and kisses his shoulders. Her hand reaches around, gently taking his penis in her hand and she whispers, gravely, “This is why you came back.”

The boy is so very young. Maybe just fourteen or fifteen. The camera allows you to see his perfect contoured buttocks, his long legs, his narrow shoulders. The scene changes abruptly. Hannah is on top of him, her breasts exposed, her whole body rocking back and forth atop the boy. At no time while watching did it register that this was a moral trespass. Of course, you think, of course it happened this way.

The sex is filmed beautifully and honestly. The second time they are together, she drapes her leg over his shoulder and the winces; it is so honest that for a moment you feel like you’re watching something that should not be filmed at all. It is too private.

In another scene, she kisses his chest, lower, to the flat, perfect expanse of his belly. It is absolutely perfect. It is the kind of tenderness that makes you suffer in its absence.

After a fight, the boy comes into the bathroom where she is in the tub. Milky water does not obscure her breasts or the blurred triangle between her legs. This is what I mean by honesty. The camera shows you exactly what the boy sees. She is very angry, stiff with anger. “You do not mean enough to upset me!” she shouts. The boy says that he is sorry. He has never been with a woman before. He sits down on the edge of the tub. Her expression does not change, but you can see that she is changing. You see that she recognizes that he is very young and his youth affords him a measure of forgiveness.

“Do you love me?” he asks.

Her eyebrows betray a scrim of bewilderment when she realizes the answer. Very subtly, terrifyingly, she nods her head yes.

He reads to her. She lies in his arms and he reads her books. The love affair is beautiful but it is quickly overshadowed by the trial. The boy is watching but Hannah does not see him. He is older. Hannah is aged. She is accused of writing a report describing how, as a guard, she allowed a group of women to burn and die. The door was locked from the outside and she did not open the door. She is accused of writing the report. The other female guards testify that she wrote the report. The judge asks for a writing sample, and Hannah, overcome with shame, quickly changes her story and admits that she wrote the report.

The boy, a law student, knows this is not true. He goes to visit her in the prison where she is being kept but changes his mind. He returns to his college and makes love with another student.

The next day, Hannah is found guilty of murdering 300 people. The boy watches in silence. Hannah is sentenced to life in prison, and then she turns and looks at him squarely. He is weeping.

I think this is a flaw in the book. I don’t recall it very well, but I don’t believe it went into the significance of this. The movie makes it clear that he understood that she was guilty of those crimes. She slaughtered old women and babies. She sent them to their deaths. She was matter of fact about it, explaining at trial that they had to make room for the new Jewesses who arrived every day. “Where could we put them? What would you do?” Evil, horrible. And he loved her anyway. Michael is unique among movie characters because he is not so overcome with love that he will forgive genocide. He knows right from wrong. He loves her, and he allows her punishment to happen with no interference from him. It is painful for him. But that is what makes his silence so moving.

Many years pass. He sends Hannah some tapes in prison. He sends a tape of himself reading “The Odyssey” by Homer – the first book he read to her when they were first lovers.

One day in prison, when Hannah is very old, she goes to the prison library and checks out “The Lady With The Little Dog” by Checkov. Michael has sent her a tape of him reading this, and again it was a book he read to her as her lover. It is almost painfully poignant watching her learn to read as an old woman by listening to her lover’s voice, looking at the words on the page, watching it finally click in her mind.

Michael receives a letter. It is from Hannah. It says, in firm childish writing, “Thank you for the latest, kid. I really liked it.”

She writes new letters: “Please send me more romance.”

He does. He receives more letters:

“I think Schiller needs a woman.”

“Are you getting my letters? RightWrite me.”

He does not. Nor does he visit. He simply sends the tapes.

After being in prison for twenty years, a parole officer calls Michael and informs him that Hannah is up for parole. “If you do not take responsibility for her, Hannah has no future at all,” she says. “Thank you for letting me know,” he replies.

He arrives at the prison. The beautiful woman of his youth is gone, replaced by an elderly grey-haired woman. He is holding back – a lot. He tells her that he has a friend who will give her a job and he has found a place for her to live. Details, details.

At one point he asks her if she thinks about the past and she says, with the slightest glimmer of hope, “With you?”

“No, not with me,” he says firmly. There is a lot of silent traffic between them. A lot. He tells her that he will pick her up in a week, when she is paroled. They do not hug goodbye. The lack of contact made me ache. But it is not the worst part.

She takes all of the books that he has sent her and all of the books checked out from the prison library and she stacks them on her desk and she hangs herself.

Michael arrives to collect her. The prison administrator tells him that she has died. Hannah has written a will. She wants her little bit of money to go to the one daughter who survived the fire, “and tell Michael I said hello.” Only then does Michael cry.

In New York, Michael finds the daughter who survived the fire. She’s an urbane New York woman living in a penthouse. Chic furniture. Lovely jewelry and clothes. Michael hands her a small tin with the money, Hannah’s tin. The woman takes the tin and gives back the money.

Michael takes his daughter to a church where he spent an afternoon with Hannah. Hannah has been buried in the cemetery there.

All this, the second half, is less powerful than the first half. I am too much reminded of its literary origin, everything is just too neat and self-referential. The only “sloppy” thing is the fact that he never forgave her while she was alive, that he could not touch her in prison. I appreciate that honesty. The cemetery, the tin, the stacks of books as a platform to hang herself are all too literal for me. But the love story is honest and disastrous, hurting everything it touches. The filmmaker found some pictures to make the Truth come true.

News From 2001: Drive To Maintain Earnings Brought Down Enron

When I saw this, I thought, wow, news from 2001. But no, it’s dated today.

A PRESSURE to do deals and make quarterly target figures by whatever means lay behind the Enron scandal, according to Stewart Hamilton, a Scottish accountancy professor at IMD business school in Switzerland.

If we are still entertaining theories about what brought down Enron, and it’s still making news, I would like to go on the record and state that a short term liquidity problem, a classic run on the bank, is what brought down Enron. The evidence bears this out.

But anyway, this report is just odd:

Hamilton, who is researching the collapse of the US energy giant, said these factors along with an absence of controls had led to the collapse. Another factor was that key company officials’ remuneration was directly linked to quarterly results. This led to a demand to “make the quarter” by whatever means.

Deals to remove debt from the company’s balance sheet had been conducted with Andrew Fastow, the finance director, despite dealing with company officials being specifically banned by the company’s code of ethics.

Hamilton said: “The drive to maintain reported earnings growth, and thus the share price, gave rise to some of the most audacious creative accounting that the world has ever seen.”

He suggests that part of the reason Enron began to overextend itself was a battle to succeed Kenneth Lay as chairman and chief executive. Jeff Skilling favoured an ‘asset light’ strategy in which the company could make more money by energy trading.

But Rebecca Mark, Skilling’s rival for the top post, favoured investment in traditional power-generating assets. The company did both, stretching its resources and worsening its financial position leading to a need to remove debt from the balance sheet.

Man. It feels like 2001 again. Sigh.

Hueston To Remain On The San Bernardino Case

The political situation in San Bernardino is spiraling out of control. And who better to suss out the truth than John Hueston, currently handling the lawsuit against former tax assessor Bill Postmus and five others. After a three-month investigation, Mr. Hueston uncovered such crimes as certain employees only working seven hours a day instead of eight.

But Mr. Hueston is not finished with San Bernardino County yet. The Board of Supervisors will vote Tuesday on whether to double — to $500,000 — the contract with the Orange County law firm of Irell & Manella.

The problem with hiring John Hueston is that you’re hiring John Hueston. He’s a weasel: sneaky, underhanded, dishonest, and not blessed with any intellectual depth.

The District Attorney this week brought charges against another of Postmus’s staff, citing the report that John Hueston issued as proof of Rex Gutierrez’s wrongdoing. Naturally, Hueston is taking credit for the arrest – which is angering the District Attorney. Hueston’s unquenchable desire for power would be funny if not for the frightening consequences.

Before this is over, I expect at least half a dozen new arrests, and Hueston will be there, cheerleading all the human misery he can drum up.

Alex Gibney: Release The Photos

Smartest Guys In The Room producer Alex Gibney has written a blog post urging President Obama to release detainee photos. Gibney’s central thesis seems to be that the photos should be released so President Bush can be prosecuted for war crimes:

Gen. Taguba has argued for prosecuting Bush officials for war crimes. But to prosecute crimes, one must have evidence.

While I’d be thrilled to discuss Enron with Mr. Gibney, I find his hackneyed viewpoints of the war in Iraq to be mere pablum, the same quality of pap that Nancy Pelosi utters every day and thus not truly worthy of comment. His viewpoint, demonstrated clearly in the final paragraph, is that the United States committed war crimes. Ostensibly this includes “torture”, which, as I wrote about earlier this week is not really torture at all. This reminds me of those horrible pictures we saw after the end of World War Two. The horror of those pictures … the naked, starved men, the shallow graves of children’s bones… Those images show what war crimes truly are. And yes, I believe they had to find the light of day. We had to see the pictures in order to know. Likewise, we showed the pictures of Uday and Qusay after their American experience. I don’t care if Obama releases the pictures. I expect they will be more of the Abu Graihb pictures, which do not hurt me at all. We can debate the appropriateness of naked pyramids, but we can not say they demonstrate the dark heart of evil.

Here’s a picture of Buchenwald Concentration Camp:

And here is the picture of a terrorist with panties on his head:

And the horrors of a man standing on a box:

The primary difference between these photos is that in the first one, mass deaths took place. We can all agree that is a war crime. In the last two, those two terrorists are still very much alive. You’re welcome.

Enron Executives As Children: Rex Shelby

Rex Shelby stood in the cafeteria line, trying very hard to appear indifferent to the fact that the prettiest girl in school was standing right behind him. Katie was in two of his classes but he hardly ever talked to her. While most of his friends had gone through pre-K and elementary school together, Katie had moved over the summer and appeared in the sixth grade, fitting right in with everyone as if she was one of them. She was small and efficient; something about her reminded him of a hummingbird, always flitting from one place to the next. Also: she was was the purest ivory-cream perfection, with wide-spaced hazel eyes, thick brown hair and pale skin. Under her prim blue shift, he could detect a supple developing body.

“Hi Rex.”

He turned around and looked at her, trying very hard to be casual. “Hi.”

“What’s up, cowboy?”

“Um. Lunch.”

He grabbed a chicken sandwich.

Katie smiled. “I’m a vegetarian.”

He wasn’t sure what to say about that. He grabbed a carton of milk, paid for his lunch and walked to the table where Scott, Ken and Joe had witnessed the whole miserable exchange.

“She talked to you!” Joe hissed at him.

“I’m an idiot,” he said and took a drink of his milk. “I’m a complete idiot. She told me she was a vegetarian and I didn’t say anything. I just walked away.”

He glanced over at her, now sitting at a table with her girlfriends. She was smiling and laughing with the group; she didn’t even noticed that he hadn’t said anything.

He knew it as certainly as he knew his own name: he had really, truly messed up his only chance to impress her.

She was in his language arts class and science class. In science, after lunch, she sat in the middle of the classroom, her intelligent little face watching the teacher with an earnestness that made his heart ache. He didn’t understand her at all. She unexpectedly glanced over and smiled. Only then did he realize he had been holding his breath. Breathing was suddenly the most wonderful, fizzy feeling in the world; he had to smile back.

“Mr. Shelby?”

He blinked, realizing the teacher was speaking to him.

“Mr. Shelby, is something funny?”

“No,” he replied and looked down at his paper. Though he was smiling and happy, this was most definitely not funny. It was the most serious thing he had ever known. Therefore, he could not risk looking at her again.

It was fortunate that his logical side kicked in because the teacher was assigning a very big project and he had to pay attention. The task seemed crazy: “invent something”.

“It can be anything,” the teacher was saying. “It just has to be your own idea and you can not spend more than $100 on it.”

Rex wrote down, “$100″ on his paper.

“You will work in teams of four. Any questions?”

Katie raised her hand. “Is the $100 for each of us, or for the whole project?”

“For the whole project,” said the teacher. “However a company in California has agreed to partner with our school. Whoever makes the best project will get a four thousand dollar check to put toward your college education. That is one thousand dollars for each member of your team.”

Rex wrote down, “$1000!” on his paper. The number seemed incredibly huge. If his team won, he wouldn’t need to work as much through college, which would enable him to concentrate completely on his studies. This seemed like a great opportunity.

“Any other questions?”

Katie raised her hand again.

“Yes Katie?”

“Does it have to be, like, an actual thing or can we make an idea like a business plan?”

The teacher smiled. “There has to be some physical component. Okay? Any other questions?”

With no further questions, the teacher directed them to get into their groups and brainstorm on their inventions. Naturally, Rex, Ken, Scott and Joe gravitated together. Once he was with the boys, he didn’t look back at Katie. He was working and he took work very seriously. “I have an idea,” Scott said. “What if we make, like, a way to watch movies on the internet.”

“Like DVDs?” Joe asked.

“No, like you go to a website and you can watch movies.”

It sounded good to Rex. And more importantly, he was sure it would win the $1000.

Hours later, in Language Arts, the boy behind him tapped him on the shoulder. Rex turned and the boy handed him a piece of paper. Rex took it, holding it under the desk to keep it out of the view of the teacher. Very large blue loopy writing jumped off the page; all the loops seemed for a moment unreadable, so he looked immediately at the bottom of the page. It was signed Katie. He felt a pulse of surprise and pleasure. He squinted and read through her viney handwriting:

Hi Rex, it is me Katie. What is your project in Science?????? Our group is making a delivery service for kids we are buying Baskets for our Bikes and we are making a website where kids can make orders for things like candy or pizza or pencils or stuff like that. I want to make sure we have like pink pencils and blue pencils and green pencils and some cool pens and some nice erasers and maybe some pads of paper and like some rubber bands for girls who wear their hair back and because it can get really annoying in the Summer Time to have your hair down, it is very hot, you would not know about that because you are a boy, hahaha but you do have nice hair and I like your eyes a lot, they are very pretty, you have nice eyes. We think it is a good project. We think we will win the prize. What is your project???????

Katie

Rex surreptitiously wrote, “Movie website.” He passed the note back to the boy behind him. The note made its way across the classroom to Katie, who was sitting by the windows. The afternoon light was streaming through the windows; she looked angelic with the blue sky and fluffy clouds behind her. He watched as she unfolded the note. She didn’t smile. She didn’t appear to think the movie idea was very good at all. With an expressionless face, she read the words, then tucked the note neatly inside her book. She didn’t look at him for the rest of the class.

He wasn’t sure about this Katie girl. She didn’t act like other girls. He just didn’t know what to make of her. Anyway, he had work to do. He bent his head to the worksheet the teacher had assigned.

After the bell rang, he waited until Katie had packed up her stuff and walked with her into the hallway. “Did you like my project idea?”

She turned to him with a frown. “Yes I like it a lot but you apparently don’t like mine at all. You didn’t say anything!”

“You just asked me what our project was.”

She rolled her eyes. “I said you had pretty eyes.”

Rex was in completely unfamiliar territory. He looked at her helplessly, trying to figure out what he was supposed to say. “Sorry,” he said finally.

She smiled. “It’s okay.”

He saw Scott coming down the hallway so he said, “See ya tomorrow,” and walked away. Scott said, “What was that about?”

“She needed help with her homework.”

Later that evening, in the large dining room at Ken’s house, the boys sat around the table with notebooks.
“I’m the leader,” said Ken.

“Why are you the leader?” Joe asked.

“Because I said so.”

“I want to be the leader.”

“You can both be the leader,” Rex said. He was eager to get to work and didn’t care for the self-imposed bureaucracy of official roles.

To his surprise both Joe and Ken seemed to accept that. Scott rolled his eyes and Rex laughed.

Ken said, “What we’re going to do is, make a website where you can download videos, like YouTube but for movie companies. Rex, you’re the technology man. Scott, you’re going to find us a client.”

“What are you going to do?” Rex asked.

“I’m going to manage.”

Rex didn’t want to argue. He would concentrate on his own part of the project. He had been playing with computers since he was four; he was very certain he could put together a great website. Any obstruction to success wasn’t the bickering between Joe and Ken, it was the fact that Katie kept sneaking into his thoughts, distracting him.

The day before the project was due, Rex walked into the cafeteria and saw Katie in line. She waved at him, and he approached. “Here, you can cut in line,” she said.

“No, it’s okay, I’ll wait.”

She squinted at him.

“I can’t cut. That’s cheating.”

She shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

He walked to the back of the line and watched as she paid for her vegetarian lunch and walked over to the girl’s table.

Rex ate his lunch with Scott, Joe and Ken as they talked about their project. Ken suddenly dropped his fork. “Oh my God, we forgot to make a video to upload.”

Rex slumped in his chair. He had been so busy with the technology he hadn’t thought about the actual video. “Okay,” he said, “come over to my house after school and we’ll make some videos.”

During Language Arts, he received a note from Katie.

Hi it’s me Katie!!!! Are you finished with your project? We are finished with ours. We are going to win the prize tomorrow hahaha I hope you do well though!

He picked up his pencil and wrote:

Do you want to come over to my house this afternoon to help us with our videos?

He passed it through class. It returned thirty seconds later:

YES COOL OKAY!!!!!! OKAY I WILL BE THERE AFTER SCHOOL OKAY THANKS!

That girl was a spaz. But she was cute.

By three o’clock all the boys and Katie were in Rex’s room. Katie looked uncomfortable. She looked somehow smaller without the context of school. Maybe it was just because there were four boys and only one girl. “Okay, we need to make a video,” Scott said. “What should we do?”

“I’ll just talk about the technology,” Rex said. “Then we can upload it onto the website and show it for our final presentation.”

“What do you need me for?” Katie asked.

“You can introduce us,” Rex said. What he was thinking is that he would get extra points for having a member of another team on the video.

They went into the living room to film. Katie sat on the sofa while Scott filmed the introduction. Then he turned the camera to Rex. Rex talked for two minutes about the technology. He described what the technology could do right now, and also how it could be expanded to be even better.

“That’s it,” Scott said and put the camera on the table.

“I’m thirsty,” Joe said.

“There’s soda in the fridge.”

Scott, Joe and Ken went into the kitchen. Katie sat very still on the sofa. Rex sat down beside her. “You looked really cute,” Katie said.

She smelled nice, like Hershey kisses and cherry lip gloss. He picked up her hand, and she looked at him. He made his move and kissed her.

He pulled back just as Joe came around the corner. “You want a soda?”

“I have to go,” Katie said suddenly. She said goodbye and ran out the front door.

Scott grabbed his camera. “I have to go too.”

Rex said goodbye to his friends and slumped down on the sofa. He was excited about the project but he was also worried because Katie didn’t seem happy. “Girls,” he muttered, “what do they want?”

The next morning, Scott cornered Rex before first period. “The video,” he hissed. “It shows you kissing Katie!”

Rex betrayed no emotion. “Are you sure?”

“Dude, I think I would know if I am seeing you kiss Katie.”

“Okay, well we can’t show the video then.”

“We have to. You explain how the technology works.”

Rex shook his head. “I’m not going to embarrass Katie that way. No way. Just don’t use it.”

“You think we can still win?”

“Sure. But don’t use the video. And don’t tell Katie.”

Scott said okay.

When Rex saw Katie at lunch she was already sitting at the table with the girls. He smiled and she smiled back. He was feeling better about the whole thing.

During science, he watched Katie’s group give their presentation. The girls had hand-made some baskets for the handlebars of their bikes and handed out papers that showed a business plan for their delivery service for kids.

After they were finished, the teacher called Rex’s group. Each of the four boys spoke about their video system.

They didn’t show the video, but Rex was pretty sure they did okay. The students clapped wildly and the teacher even said it was amazing. They would have to wait until Monday to find out their grades, and who won the $1,000.

During Language Arts, he sent Katie a note:

Hi Katie, you look pretty today.

Within seconds, the note returned to him with her large, blue, loopy, crazy handwriting:

Hi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was worried because you didn’t talk to me during lunch after you kissed me yesterday. Hahaha you kissed me, that was nice I really thought you were very sweet but when you did it it surprised me so I hope that’s okay that I left like I did but I felt shy and I thought your friends needed to finish the project and today I see that you did a lot of good work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You have a great project and I am sure that you will be getting a 100 but I hope our team wins the $1000 because I would spend it on books, I want to go to medical school!!!! I want to be a heart surgeon because they make a lot of money and are good people!!!!! XOXO Katie

On Monday, as soon as Rex sat down at his desk in algebra, he was surprised to hear his name called over the loud speaker with Joe, Scott and Ken. The four boys convened in the principal’s office. “You’ve been accused of cheating,” the principal said. “The website doesn’t do what you claim it does.”

Bewildered, Rex looked to Scott, who shrugged.

“The teacher is willing to give you an opportunity to re-do the project. Meanwhile, you’re all getting detention.”

Rex stood in mute shock.

“Rex, apparently you showed a video about the technology?”

Rex shook his head. “No, I didn’t.”

“He did!” Ken exclaimed. “He did! He lied about the technology. It was his idea. He said in the video that you could buy movies from big movie companies but really you couldn’t. It was like YouTube and he was saying it was like Comcast OnDemand.”

Rex listened calmly. He did not understand what was happening. Why was his friend, and the project leader, lying about him? Why would he do that?

“Go back to class, boys.”

Rex walked back to class with a heavy heart. He kept trying to figure out what happened. He got a partial answer at lunch. Ken wasn’t at the table. Scott and Joe looked as depressed as he felt. “The principal is saying if I admit to cheating, I can serve a week detention and be done with it,” said Joe. “If I don’t, he’s threatening to fail me for the year.”

“What are you gonna do?” Rex asked.

“I can’t admit to something I didn’t do,” Joe said miserably. Rex thought of Joe’s family. His mom and dad and siblings were all very accomplished people. If Joe failed sixth grade, they’d be extremely upset.

Scott was angry. “This is bullshit! This is totally bullshit! I’m going to the superintendent. I’m not letting these assholes get away with this. No way.”

After lunch, Rex saw Katie in the hallway. He pulled her out of the flow of traffic to the lockers. “I guess you heard that we’re accused of cheating.”

“I heard.”

“We didn’t.”

She smiled. “I know.”

“Ken said we did. And I think Joe is going to say so too.”

“I know you didn’t.”

He nodded. “Okay.”

“I have to tell you something,” she said. “Our team won the $1000.”

Rex was genuinely happy for her. He thought of her in medical school, mending people’s hearts. It seemed to fit. Spontaneously he leaned forward and kissed her again. “You’re gonna get us in trouble!” she laughed.

He shrugged. There was nothing anyone could do to him. He was innocent.

********************************************************************************

As of this writing, Ken was given detention and released.

Joe confessed to cheating and is expected to receive his detention in the next six months. He is expected to graduate with the other sixth graders.

Scott took his case all the way to the Superintendent. The superintendent will rule on Scott’s case in the next month.

Rex maintains his innocence. The principal has agreed not to assign Rex to detention until the superintendent rules on Scott’s case.

Katie has changed her mind about medical school and plans to get an MBA instead, so she can implement her idea of a delivery service for kids.

No God In Southern California

Yesterday I sent beautiful Tracey a link to this story about a couple who were cited by the San Diego police for having a Bible study in their home. I thought it was crazy but didn’t give it much thought until I saw how passionate Tracey is about the subject. I re-read it this morning and I must say, this is very ominous.

A local pastor and his wife claim they were interrogated by a San Diego County official, who then threatened them with escalating fines if they continued to hold Bible studies in their home, 10News reported.

Attorney Dean Broyles of The Western Center For Law & Policy was shocked with what happened to the pastor and his wife.

Broyles said, “The county asked, ‘Do you have a regular meeting in your home?’ She said, ‘Yes.’ ‘Do you say amen?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Do you pray?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Do you say praise the Lord?’ ‘Yes.’”

Whoa whoa whoa. Why is a County official asking private citizens these questions? That sounds icky.

The county employee notified the couple that the small Bible study, with an average of 15 people attending, was in violation of County regulations, according to Broyles.

Broyles said a few days later the couple received a written warning that listed “unlawful use of land” and told them to “stop religious assembly or apply for a major use permit” — a process that could cost tens of thousands of dollars.

“For churches and religious assemblies there’s big parking concerns, there’s environmental impact concerns when you have hundreds or thousands of people gathering. But this is a different situation, and we believe that the application of the religious assembly principles to this Bible study is certainly misplaced,” said Broyles.

News of the case has rapidly spread across Internet blogs and has spurred various reactions.

Broyles said his clients have asked to stay anonymous until they give the county a demand letter that states by enforcing this regulation the county is violating their First Amendment right to freely exercise their religion.

Broyles also said this case has broader implications.

“If the county thinks they can shut down groups of 10 or 15 Christians meeting in a home, what about people who meet regularly at home for poker night? What about people who meet for Tupperware parties? What about people who are meeting to watch baseball games on a regular basis and support the Chargers?” Broyles asked.

Broyles and his clients plan to give the County their demand letter this week.

If the County refuses to release the pastor and his wife from obtaining the permit, they will consider a lawsuit in federal court.

The comments to this story vary from “yeah, Bible Thumpers shouldn’t clog up neighborhood streets” to the more salient point that the United States Constitution guarantees our rights to worship however we see fit:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

While I’ve never been religious, I bristle when I hear stories of Christianity being threatened in this country. Whether or not I agree with the tenets of Christianity, I must agree that the country was founded on those values and for that reason I respect them, even if I do not practice them in daily life.

San Diego County should have the same respect I do, but if not, that’s okay. What is not okay is disregarding the Constitution for the sake of petty politics.