There have been times in my life when I am so ardently thinking of something, wanting something, that it becomes all consuming and the world starts throwing signals at me to show me I am on the right path. The first time I recognized this, I was sixteen years old. I had become obsessed with England for many reasons. I kept telling my friends, “I am going to England,” and nobody believed me. And why should they? I was sixteen, I had not a nickel to my name, and I was far, far away from England. At least to outsiders. England was already in my heart. I read about England, I read novels set in England, I studied maps. My whole life was about England.
Then my father died.
And after the shock wore off and the insurance checks and stocks and bonds were monetized, I left for England. I can remember to this very day my first glimpse of a new continent as I woke up at 6am on a plane over Ireland. I remember the green. I had never seen such green. And the coast, the deep blue water smashing forever against the rocky coast in the massive, slow-moving evolution of the land. The captain said we’d be in London soon, and the first glimpse I had of the English coast, my eyes watered. A giant lump came to my throat.
I am home, I said to myself. And I was. Of course, I didn’t realize until much later how truly English I am but at the time, I thought I would live forever outside of London in a small cottage, writing my books.
I went to London. I knew I would go to London, somehow, someway, and I did.
Other things I have been obsessed with have been less enormous than that, but no less intense. Over a year ago, for no reason at all, I began thinking about someone. He’s sort of famous. There’s really no reason for him to think of me too, but for weeks, all I thought about was him. It was as if the world was concentrating some divine power inside me to summon him (not a bad superpower to have, incidentally). Then, one morning I opened my eyes and knew he sent me an email. I checked my BlackBerry. He had sent me an email.
I don’t know how to quantify these things. I don’t know what that is, when you can feel things shifting, aligning, when you know you are about to be served a piece of your destiny.
But I am there now. And this is huge. The biggest thing I’ve ever wished for or dreamed about. It’s coming.
It is almost here.