I learned something over the past few months. It is the greatest lesson I’ve ever learned, and I hope and pray that I remember it forever:
The way to get what you want is to want it a little less.
I’ve found this is uncannily true about any object of desire – whether its a person, a thing, a job, or a change you want to make in yourself.
When you give attention to something, it gets bigger in your mind. It becomes the only thing you can see – which is great for focus, but also terrible for seeing other things. It blinds you to other opportunities. It keeps you pinned to a single outcome, and it allows the situation to destroy you if it doesn’t happen the way you want it to.
But by staying a little busy, by having lots of things happening, you allow other possibilities to creep in, and your world to broaden.
I realized it yesterday, when I got something I really wanted, that the only way I’ve ever gotten anything I ever wanted was by keeping it in my peripheral vision, not front and center. This goes against every piece of sports advice, every life coach, self-help book and guru that I’ve ever encountered, but it’s absolutely true for me.