Woman Blames Vampire For Car Crash


If a Western Slope woman is to be believed, vampires may be lurking in Colorado’s Grand Valley.

The woman claims she spotted a vampire in the middle of a dirt road near Fruita, Colo. Sunday night. She told Colorado State Troopers she was startled by the undead being, threw her SUV into reverse, and crashed into a canal.

She was not injured.

State Troopers say the woman’s husband arrived at the scene and took her home. The vampire, which was not seen by anyone else, apparently let her get away.

Troopers do not suspect drugs or alcohol to be factors in the crash.

Wow. I think I’m speechless.

John Hawkins Interviews Zev Chafetz

John Hawkins talked with Zev Chafets, author of Rush Limbaugh: An Army of One.

Rush has always been a huge hero to me because he is a self-made success. I love the fact that he’s open about his early failures, his inability to gain traction in radio. He loved radio, couldn’t imagine doing anything else, and stuck with it, and look where he is today. So I always have a lot of respect for his success.

I also enjoy his radio program most of the time. I will certainly buy the book just to get a better rounded picture of him as a person. Meanwhile, check out John’s interview with author Zev Chafets.

Destiny Vocabulary Words

I am still in shock over my gift. The person who sent it has made herself known so she can speak up if she wants to: I don’t want to embarrass her. Anyway, something that fascinates me is that there is writing on the front cover, and it appears to be vocabulary words. Some of the words are followed by page numbers. So I decided to write down the words. I am curious about the person who wrote them down with her loopy feminine handwriting in both red and black ball point ink. Was she a college student? Is that why she didn’t know the meaning of the word “execrable”? A woman on a farm, spectacularly tired of seeing corn tassels and inhaling hog? The mystery endures!

Here are the words:


The Kindest Stranger

This month, I ventured into Deep Love territory and wrote about my favorite book, Destiny by Sally Beauman. And I also wrote about how the spine of my copy broke, and then broke into two pieces.

Well today I went to my PO Box and found this:

I stood in the mailbox place with this book in my hands, holding it like a wedding invitation, and spontaneous pinprick tears appeared in my eyes.

When I got home I took more pictures, with my broken Destiny:

But it gets better. It has writing in it!

I love this. I love love love this. I am overcome with emotion.

But the strangest thing: I have no idea who the person is who sent it to me. I don’t recognize the name on the return label. There was no note. I have no idea how she got my address. I’m just blown away. If you sent this to me, please announce yourself so I can thank you properly!

I’ve honestly never received a more thoughtful gift. So who the heck are you?

Lion Burgers

CNN reports on an Arizona butcher shop that serves lion meat. It also serves bear, ostrich, camel – even snapping turtle.

Apparently it is legal to eat African lion in the USA. It isn’t endangered, though an international organization has called the king of the jungle “threatened.”

Threatened by hungry diners in Arizona, apparently.

This evokes the same revulsion I felt when I read about the whale meat served at a Santa Monica restaurant in March.

I don’t care if others eat lion (or snapping turtle or whatever) but I don’t think I would. So I’m curious what is the most exotic food you’ve ever eaten? And would you try lion?

More Me

I’ve set up housekeeping on Tumblr, finally. You can find me here, though I am not quite sure what I’ll be doing over there. It seems like a space between Twitter and WordPress, a place for quick pictures or links. Also, you can submit stuff (apparently), and I’ll post it. Sharing is caring, and all that.

Romeo & Juliet & A Sassy Gay Friend

I love all these, but my favorite is Romeo and Juliet. Funny.

Literary Agent Publishes Query Fails

I have to admit, I kind of love this. An agent has begun to post snippets of the worst queries he gets from writers.


Writer: Greetings agent. I have written the most important book on earth.

Agent: Will someone, for the love of God, please kill me.

And this one:

Writer: I’d like you to consider representing my fictional novel.

Agent: Oh, whew. For a second there I thought you were going to ask me to represent your nonfictional novel. For some reason those are performing really poorly in the market today.

I actually think this adds to the body of knowledge about how to write queries so perhaps the general quality will increase over time. Or maybe I’m just an optimist.

On a personal note, one of my verbal ticks is to say “true fact.” I say it a lot, and I cringe when I say it. It started out being silly and now it’s a habit. I said it on the phone to my agent and he deadpanned, “All facts are true.”

So I said, in a snarky way, totally in control of the joke, “I wrote a fiction novel.”

Fiction novel is the absolute worst thing you can to say to anyone who writes, publishes, or represents novels. If you learn nothing else, learn this: all novels are fiction.

So my agent said, “When people send me inquiries that say they’ve written a fiction novel, I hit delete.”

I dream of a world where all queries are beautifully written, for books publishers will clamor for.

But I know it will never, ever happen.

The Evident Psychopathy of Joran van der Sloot

My friend Sheila sent an email asking if I’d seen Joran van der Sloot’s five-part interview with Greta Susteren. No, no I hadn’t. But we’re both sort of into psychopaths – she loves serial killers, I get fixated on certain special crimes like the Brand Dividian massacre, the Columbine shooting, the Oklahoma City bombing and a couple of others. Anyway, on the subject of Joran, our interests intersect.

I was fascinated with him during the Natalee Holloway hullabaloo because he was just way too calm. He never got upset, never seemed particularly bothered by the death of the young blond high school graduate. It was chilling to see, but also luridly fascinating.

Then when he was caught in Peru, the same thing happened. He began uttering these outrageous stories, expecting that police would believe him (example: a thief killed Stephany Flores.) Again, incredibly creepy and transfixing.

And yet as creepy as I know he is, I also know that if I had been a young girl, eighteen or twenty-one years old, and a man like Joran began to talk to me… Yep, I’d have been head over hills. I’m not proud of this, I’m only pointing out that for young girls who are inexperienced, his good looks and charm would have been irresistible.

That glib charm is part of the psychopathy profile. And I have not one iota of doubt that Joran van der Sloot is a psychopath. I was confirmed when I took Sheila’s advice and watched the five part series. He was just so calm, with that weird flat-effect. It’s a paradox because I say that I would have been charmed by him, but seeing him on screen, I feel goosebumps. It’s the same reaction a cat has when she arches her back and hisses. The message is clear: stay far away from me.

So I’ve been watching Nancy Grace and reading various newsreports, but I already know what happened. The most fascinating thing for me is to watch him walk through the media. He is utterly calm.

It’s also a weird little reminder that Tim McVeigh, for all his faults, was not a psychopath. Tim McVeigh was stone-faced, and looked hard the first time the media saw him. I am talking about this sequence:

In the McVeigh Tapes, he said that when he was preparing to leave the jail, he intentionally held his back straight, kept his eyes straight ahead, and refused to acknowledge any of the media. He was hard, rigid. Compare that to van der Sloot:

That is a smile of contempt. A smirk that says I did it and I’m gonna get away with it. He’s completely relaxed, and maybe even enjoying the attention.

He completely freaks me out.

My conjecture is that he was a budding serial killer. I think killing two women in a five year period qualifies for some kind of serial offender status. The first rumor for motive that came out of Peru was that he had found Stephany on his computer, and she had discovered something incriminating about his involvement with Natalee Holloway. I believe it. I can see him losing his mind in a rage and beating her to death. No problem whatsoever with that imagery. And I think if he’d not been caught, in a few years we would have heard stories about other women, victims of his aggression.

I am sorry that Stephany was murdered, but I am happy that Natalee Holloway’s family might finally get some peace. They won’t have justice because it is unlikely, in my opinion, that he will be tried for Natalee’s murder unless he makes a full confession (I know he already has, but he’s withdrawn it; he might make another.) But maybe, with Joran locked up now, they can sleep.

I’m also pleased that Joran won’t be housed in some Aruban jail with tropical breezes and the smell of salty sea-air. No, he’ll be in Peru, with all that entails.

I will be curious to see watch the journey to justice this young man will endure. I have the unsettling suspicion that he will indeed rather like it. The blog Raising A Psychopath is about a couple who adopted a psychopath. They had to institutionalize him, and he loves being institutionalized. He’s calm and generally obeys the rules. I can see Joran enjoying it the same way.

How do you punish someone who you can not punish? I doubt seriously anyone can ever make Joran feel bad about what he did to those two women. That lack of remorse is fascinating and horrifying. I like the safety of studying it from a distance – and while he is behind bars.

Journalist Threatens Commenters on Dealbreaker

A blog at Reuters has a fascinating story of an NYT journalist who was fired for plagiarizing Dealbreaker. Dealbreaker then hired him (what?) and two months later, fired him because he used privileged information acquired on the Dealbreaker commenter system to threaten anonymous commenters by telling them he knew “exactly where they worked.”

I’m intrigued by this event because it just proves my hypothesis that mainstream journalism is going the way of the buggy whip. It’s not that Zach Kouwe represents the ethical makeup of the entire profession, but that he let the mask slip that the people who write our narratives are somehow intellectually or morally superior to everyone else.

News happens 24/7 and if you’re a blogger, you better have a compelling way to talk about it. That demand from consumers is missing with the MSM. Nobody cares is CNN gets it wrong because it just doesn’t matter anymore and CNN doesn’t have to listen to you. But if a blogger gets it wrong, readers can talk directly to the author of the story, challenge him or her, and force the blogger to lay out his case.

Bloggers have kept MSM honest (the Hamas Fauxtography scam and the Bush Fake TANG scam come to mind). But they’ve also been breaking stories themselves (the Ellie Light controversy springs to mind, as well as numerous aspects of the Health Care Bill that were unknown until some enterprising young dude in his pajamas dug them up), proving you don’t have to be CNN to know what you’re talking about.

The Houston Chron has covered Enron dismally. I routinely find errors and snarky opinion sidebars in the text. But my blog offers an alternative. You might not agree with my opinion, but I will show you the proof and explain how I arrived at my opinion, which is a lot more than those journalists are doing.

I will rejoice the day newspapers are finally obsolete. I trust people who are intellectually curious, who want to go out and dig for news and analyze issues. We need more of them.

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