Your Stench Is Overpowering. I Beg You To Shower.

NYT has published an article about the trend of not showering. Proponents have many reasons for not showering: it saves money, it saves the environment, they like the natural oils of their body, they don’t feel like they need a daily shower. Some believe that deodorant causes cancer.

Allow me to put to rest all these ridiculous notions.

Your passing on a shower makes not one iota of difference in the environment. Not even half of an iota. It also probably doesn’t save money since if you keep showing up to work smelling like a zoo, you’re going to get fired. The natural oils of your body are waste products that need to be cleaned off. And deo does not cause cancer. It causes you to not be offensively smelly – so even if it did cause cancer (and it doesn’t) the risk is worth it.

You stink. If you shower less than seven times per week, you stink. If you don’t regularly wash your hair, you look oily and you stink. Some who don’t shower are under the mistaken impression that just because people don’t tell them they stink, they don’t. This is wrong. Most people will simply avoid the subject, and not say a word, even as you’re punishing their olfactory with your vile odor.

Not observing basic common hygiene is an anti-social act. I’m concerned that so many people are questioning this very basic cornerstone of decency. The world is offensive enough. Men who wear their pants hanging off their asses, people wearing flip-flops who have thick yellow nails and whose heels have never known the healing touch of loofa, women who wear half-shirts and are carrying enough exposed fat to be mistaken for a lifeboat.

Please, I beg you. Shower. Don’t make everybody else’s life more difficult just because you think you smell fine. Believe me, you don’t.


  1. Does it make a difference that my oldest son showers 2-3 times a day? 🙂

  2. Cara Ellison says:

    That’s awesome. If someone else isn’t showering, at least your son is bringing up the family average!

    : )

  3. I live in a relatively warm climate which renders showering twice a day practically essential. This article hasn’t made consideration for climate.

    I find the whole experience soothing and I use it as a time for reflection. I recommend making an occasion to shower in complete darkness. The sensations of sound and touch are quite relaxing!

  4. Cara Ellison says:

    Showers and baths are essential to happiness and mental health!

  5. In the words of Blooreguard Q Kazoo, Esquire: “Got B.O.? GET DEO!”

  6. Gotta wonder if this isn’t somehow linked to the embracing of the Great Unwashed (Islamic culture) by the dimwitted numbnutted Left…they hate Jews, we hate Jews; they don’t bathe, maybe we shouldn’t bathe so we can be cool like our genocidist allies.

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